Keeping the Home Fires Burning

It's easy to get bogged down in the day to day stuff that comes our way.  So easy that we often let our romantic relationships take a backseat to what is happening in the news, what tv show is on tonight, or who said what on Facebook.  When we do that our romantic relationships suffer and we can feel disconnected from our partner/spouse. 

Here are 10 tips to reignite those home fires and bring some romance back into your relationship. 

Doc Barton's Top 10 Tips to Re-Ignite Romance

"Keeping romance alive is sometimes a challenge for couples

Published on March 12, 2013 by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. in Emotional Fitness

Keeping romance alive is sometimes a challenge for couples. Here are my top ten tips for adding some fuel to your romantic fires.

1. Act romantic and you'll feel romantic. Play the part by setting the scene with candlelight and soft music, softer words, lingerie and great smells. This creates a fanciful mood for both of you and romance will be unavoidable.
2. Make your bedroom a romantic hideaway. Get some silk sheets, some soft lights and if you don't have a lock on your bedroom door - get one. Having a place to go when the feelings come over you is important to keep romance alive.
3. Talk about sex. Give your partner a call in the middle of the day and tell them you can't wait to make love to them. Drop little sexual innuendoes and don't be afraid to ask them what it is they like or tell them what you like. Conversations about love may be one of the most under rated aphrodisiacs.
4. Indulge your fantasy. Share your secret romantic fantasy with your partner and ask them to tell you theirs. Then make plans to play them out. Just the anticipation will add to your romance and the gift of giving each other what you desire will be something that you will never forget.
5. Have a date night at least once a week. This may the most important and most disregarded rule of romance. Keeping a date night with your partner is something that both of you can look forward to all week long. It is your special time together away from work, kids and all the stresses of life. Not only will it enhance your romantic life; it will help you both live longer.
6. Be creative. Relive you first date, kidnap your partner for a weekend getaway, have chocolate covered strawberries and champagne in bed, serenade your partner (or just lip-sync to a Josh Grobin or Jessica Simpson song). There are so many different ways to be romantic, just go with your ideas (or buy a book to get some) it's really hard to do it wrong.
7. Kiss often. Couples who kiss every day make love more than those who don't. One of the sexiest things you can do with your partner is to just spend a night making-out and cuddling. Deep, romantic kissing is something that many couples forget to do after they have been together for a while. It's more important to romance than you think. If you ask most women what they would like more of in their romantic lives they will tell you it's kissing, and men who are great kissers never want for love making.
8. Let go. Give your partner total control in the romance department every once in a while. It's surprising how they will surprise you if they can give to you in any way they want. There is also something freeing about giving up control. Just say to the one you love, "Honey, I'm all yours, do with me what you will."
9. Complement each other. Everyone wants to know they're desirable and we all wonder if our partners still find us sexy after a few years have gone by. Just telling someone how great he or she looks when you're in bed isn't enough. Compliments should take placed throughout the day. This way, when it's bedtime, your partner will already feel desired and you will reap the benefits.
10. Think about sex. We all think about sex, but sometimes we forget to put our partner in the picture with us. Next time your mind wanders in that direction be sure to focus on being with the person you love. These thoughts will create a deeper connection and both of you will not only feel more romantic, you will also feel emotionally closer.

We all admire couples who seem to have found the secret of keeping their romantic fires burning, yet most people just don’t take the time to go there. There are many ways to re-light the romantic torch, it make take a little energy, and you may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but the tips above are some of the best (and most fun) ways to keep this very important part of your relationship sizzling."

Relationships & Domestic Violence

When you are young everything revolves around relationships...your relationship with your family, your relationships with your friends and peers, and your romantic relationships.  As we age and grow into who we are as people it is natural for the focus to be less on relationships with others and more on the relationship we have with ourselves; however, even as adults that often isn't the case. 

In our society we put a lot of emphasis on romantic love.  We watch romantic comedies, we read romance novels, and we expect love to sweep us off our feet and sometimes it does.  But what happens when we find out during our relationship that the love we thought we had is accompanied by violence? 

According to Domestic Violence Statistics every 9 seconds in the US a woman is beaten or assaulted and 1 in every 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused during her lifetime. 

It is scary to me, even more so now that I have daughters, how so many women end up in situations beyond their control.  Being abused doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you less of a person, it just means that someone you trusted has abused that trust.  Smart women, powerful women, anyone can fall victim to domestic violence. 

As a parent, we owe it to our children to try to safely remove ourselves and them from situations of violence.  Men who grow up witnessing domestic violence are twice as likely to become abusers and woman who grow up witnessing domestic violence are more likely to pick men who will abuse them. 

YOU are the example of how someone should be treated and how to treat a partner in a relationship.  YOU determine what course your children will be set upon, what path they will travel. 

If you are in a relationship that is violent, and remember violence is not just physical but also mental and emotional, then seek help when you are able.  Seek out local resources in your area such as the Domestic Abuse Shelter.  The most dangerous time for a woman in a violent relationship is when she tries to leave.  It is scary, but there are people who can help.    

The Hotline is a national domestic violence help line.  Their number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).  When you click on the link it shows you how to do a quick escape in case someone walks in while you are on their site and it will take you to an unrated site.  Please protect yourself and your children.  Your life depends on it.