Sunday, May 26, 2013

Post Partum Anxiety/Depression

According to the Center for Disease Control 2008 PRAM report approximately 15% of post partum women will experience post partum depression, post partum anxiety/OCD, and post partum psychosis.  Given that there are approximately 6.4 million clinically recognized pregnancies each year that means approximately 950,000 women will experience some form of PPD.

How many women experiencing some form of PPD don't ask for help?  After the birth of my first daughter it took me more than a month to recognize that what I was feeling wasn't normal.  Only after talking to a close friend who had gone through PPD did I contact my doctor for help and I was so glad that I did.  She put me on a low dose of Zoloft, which we increased when my husband deployed, and I stayed on it until my daughter was about 10 1/2 months old.

With the recent birth of my second daughter, I didn't want to take any chances.  I know that there is a greater risk of experiencing PPD a second time as well as the added stress of having a second child.  I spoke with my doctor before my daughter's birth and she started me on Zoloft right in the hospital.

Are anti-depressants fast acting?  Not really.  You have to wait for a therapeutic dose to build up in your system; however, each day I start to feel a little better.  This time there hasn't been the uncontrolled crying that I experienced the first time.  My anxiety occurs only in specific situations such as when the baby is in the carseat and I have to check constantly to make sure she is breathing.  Although there are times when I just plain feel anxious.  My heart races, my chest feels tight, and I just feel uncomfortable and restless.  For myself, I try to remain calm, talk myself through it, and wait for it to pass because it does pass.  Eventually.

PPD is more than the baby blues.  According to WebMD, baby blues are " A certain amount of insomnia, irritability, tears, overwhelmed feelings, and mood swings are normal during the first days after childbirth. These "baby blues" usually peak around the fourth postpartum day and subside in less than 2 weeks, when hormonal changes have settled down. If you have postpartum blues after childbirth, you're not alone-more than half of women have temporary mildsymptoms of depression mixed with feelings of happiness after having a baby." 

While PPD, "Symptoms of postpartum depression can follow postpartum blues. They can feel like more of the same or can feel worse than before. Postpartum depression can also happen months after childbirth or pregnancy loss. In some cases, symptoms peak after slowly building for 3 or 4 months. Possible PPD symptoms require evaluation by a doctor.
If you have postpartum depression, you have had five or more depressive symptoms (including one of the first two listed below) for most of the past 2 weeks, including:1,2
  • Depressed mood-tearfulness, hopelessness, and feeling empty inside, with or without severe anxiety.
  • Loss of pleasure in either all or almost all of your daily activities.
  • Appetite and weight change-usually a drop in appetite and weight but sometimes the opposite.
  • Sleep problems-usually trouble with sleeping, even when your baby is sleeping.
  • Noticeable change in how you walk and talk-usually restlessness, but sometimes sluggishness.
  • Extreme fatigue or loss of energy.
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, with no reasonable cause.
  • Difficulty concentrating and making decisions.
  • Thoughts about death or suicide. Some women with PPD have fleeting, frightening thoughts of harming their babies. These thoughts tend to be fearful thoughts, rather than urges to harm."

If you or someone you know is experiencing PPD please reach out to your primary care physician, OB/GYN, or someone you trust for help.  Having a baby is stressful enough without feeling your best emotionally and mentally.  

Serenity Counseling Online is also available to help support new parents manage feelings of anxiety and stress.  Contact us now for more information.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

How to Say Goodbye to a Pet

Yesterday we had to take our 13 year old chihuahua Beast to the vet. I had gotten Beast from a breeder when he was a puppy. He was my baby before I had babies. 

Over breakfast we joked about getting Beast a tiny oxygen mask and tiny oxygen tank. We didn't know what was wrong with him, other than a hacking cough, but given his age I already had decided that we wouldn't go crazy with expensive treatments. 

We got to the vet and he examined both our dogs (our boxer has had some stomach issues). He heard Beast cough and initially thought maybe pneumonia, but after listening to his heart and lungs thought congestive heart failure. He wanted to do X-rays and we agreed. 

The tech said it would take awhile. It was 1:18 so we could go run an errand and be back at 2. We left to run errands. I didn't say goodbye. 

When we returned I ran inside to pick up the dogs and pay. The woman at the front desk led me back into an examining room and I knew something was wrong. I thought maybe the vet was going to say he suspected cancer. He came in and said how sorry he was, that Beast had died during the X-ray, that they had tried to revive him, but weren't successful. He thought that Beast had a heart attack or blood clot. My hands covered my mouth in shock as I started to cry. 

He asked if I wanted to see him and brought me in back. Beast was wrapped in a blanket. He looked relaxed, peaceful. We talked about cremation as I pet his head and cried. 

I paid and the tech helped me outside. my husband saw me coming with just Sasha and got out of the car. The tech told him. 

We got back to the hotel and my daughter kept saying, "Where's Beasty? Where's my Beasty?" She ran all over the hotel room looking for him. We explained that he was in heaven and she asked if heaven was fun. We said very. 

This morning she woke up and asked, "Where's Beast?" We told her heaven. 

Saying goodbye to an old friend is never easy. I can only remember all the times I've been impatient with him over the last 2 years. I know I gave Beast a good life. I wish I had treated him better since we had our daughter. Dogs don't ask for babies to come along. I need to remember that a pet only asks for our love. 

Telling your children their beloved pet is gone requires patience and repetition. Our daughter is too young to understand and that's okay.  Although hearing her ask where Beast is breaks my heart, I know that it's my job as the parent to tell her.  It's also okay that she sees me cry and knows that I miss Beast.  She is learning empathy.  It's okay to grieve the loss of a pet.  They are family.  As hard as it can be to let them go, sometimes you have to.  We decided to have Beast cremated and will scatter his ashes somewhere close to us.  The vet's office is also making a paw print for us.  Other pets I've lost I've buried in the yard and planted flowers.  Decide what is meaningful for your family and what works best for your situation.  Teaching your children have to grieve in a healthy manner is an important part of life.  Holding on to your grief, not dealing with loss is never healthy.     

RIP Beast. Mommy loves you.