Affirmations

You would never tell a friend she was fat or he was stupid or that they couldn't do something and yet many people spend a majority of their day telling themselves exactly those kinds of things.  We walk around with all this negative self talk clogging up our heads.  If we wouldn't tell our friends those things, then why is it acceptable to say them to ourselves?

It shouldn't be acceptable.  Negative self talk can hold us back in life and keep us from pursuing the kind of life we truly want to lead.

Positive affirmations can turn that around.  It may sound silly, but standing in front of the mirror several times a day and repeating positive affirmations out loud can combat that negative self talk.

Write down 3 to 5 positive affirmations and tape them up on your mirror so that you see them as you get ready for work and bed.  Say them out loud as you look at yourself in the mirror.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

I am smart.

I am kind.

I can be anything I want to be.

I am worthy of love.

What affirmations will you use?  What kind of person could you be without negative self talk clogging up your head?  Serenity Counseling Online wants to know.  Comment on this post on our Facebook page. 

Living up to Standards

Someone texted me to share that they had won an award at work and were nervous that they wouldn't be able to live up to the standard of the award.  This person asked for some tips in working through this issue.  My response is as follows:

Congratulations on your award!  That's a great achievement and I'm not sure why you feel like you can't live up to the standards of the award.  By virtue of getting the award you've already proven that you ARE already living up to the standards.  I think that is the biggest piece of working through lack of confidence.  You ARE ALREADY DOING IT!  They wouldn't have nominated and chosen you if you weren't.  

Lacking confidence is something you can change.  The first step is to fake it until you make it.  Often by faking confidence it becomes ingrained in you and before you know it you are confident.   

The second step is to get outside your comfort zone whenever possible.  By putting yourself in situations that challenge you then you allow yourself to grow as a person.  Whether it's accepting a promotion, moving to a new shift, moving your relationship forward to the next level, or doing something that frightens you don't allow yourself to accept the status quo.  If you always take the easy/known/familiar path then before you know it your life will have passed you by.  

The third step is to believe in yourself.  If you don't believe in your abilities then how can you expect other people to believe in you?  

Fourth, be kind to yourself.  If you wouldn't say the things you tell yourself (doubts, etc) to your best friend then DON"T say them to yourself.  We can be our own worst critic when it's clear that others in our lives don't think about us that way.  

And finally, know that whatever expectation is being asked of you by virtue of this award is something you are already living.  And it sounds like the only expectation is something you are projecting onto yourself.  Let that go.  You got this!